Sunday, 28 October 2012

I am so lazy

I wrote this earlier and published it on "tumblr" and then I thought, "fuck tumblr! I don't want a bunch of yolo spouting kids reblogging my awesome* thoughts!" 
So here it is, obviously copied and pasted:

Realising the extent of my laziness is a little (lottle) disturbing if I am quite honest. I spend vast amounts of time trying to work out ways in which I can save time.

Using copy and paste to very email addresses or one click purchasing on Amazon may only save me seconds but I genuinely believe that this time-saving will eventually add up to weeks of extra time that can be spent sleeping/eating/singing/biting my nails/ browsing the web for funny blogs or pictures I can post on facebook or tumblr so I appear funny. Invariably this time will be spent watching Gavin and Stacey or daydreaming but its the potential that appeals to me.

Another timesaver:

  1. Recieves text
  2. Views text
  3. Starts to reply
  4. Can’t be bothered typing
  5. Calling sender
  6. Hour long conversation about a static caravan/trip to London/chicken dinner
  7. Although obviously this one is counter-productive and means I have to make awkward “hmmm” noises and agree to things I actually don’t want to do because I’m not listening I’m actually watching the spider on the window and we’re doing what next Saturday??! 

List of short cuts I use daily:

  • Dry Shampoo
  • Painting over chipped nail polish with more polish
  • Hairydryer held over clothes instead of ironing
  • Biting nails instead of filing nails
  • Cold wash clothes so I don’t need to seperate
  • Energy drinks for lunch because I can’t be bothered to make lunch
  • Pour instant coffee into mug, add 2 sugar cubes and hot water, gently shake mug. Add milk, drink.
  • There are more, but I can’t be bothered to remember them right now.

My brother once told me that his idea of a productive day at work is one where he gets everything done effectively with the least amount of effort exerted. I think this must be a family trait.

* I don't actually think I'm awesome.